Why I Cried When I Heard You Died~ An Open Letter to the Late Robin Williams

Dear Mr. Williams, 

I didn't know you. I knew of you through your amazing talent. At a young age, I was enchanted by you and never missed an episode of Mork and Mindy. As I grew up, I watched with delight, all of your movies. You made me laugh and you made me cry. Your characters were inspiring and you brought them to life like no other. Your energy and compassion for others truly radiated through the big screen and interviews.  

If you could come back for even one day, you would see how many lives you have touched throughout your lifetime. The world became a sadder place yesterday afternoon. We lost yet another ray of sunshine. It was yesterday that I learned of your battles and heartaches. You see, I don't follow celebrity lifestyles. But if I had followed yours, it would have explained the sorrow I saw behind those twinkling blue eyes of yours all these years. 

Your death has raised a lot of awareness, judgements, ignorances and misconceptions on depression, addiction and suicide. I for one do not believe suicide is selfish. I don't think you were a coward either. I truly believe you were just plain tired. Tired of the battle. Tired of the heartache your addiction caused your family and friends. Tired of the sorrow. Tired of the relapses. Sending you deeper and deeper into  depression. You felt, like most people contemplating ending their lives, that you not being around would somehow make their lives better. That your disease was a burden on them. Well my Captain, you got it completely wrong.  You were not a burden. 

At first, I couldn't figure out why I was so sad to the point of shedding tears over your passing. I mean, you were a celebrity and no one I had ever met. I didn't know you. Then I realized it was the fear of losing those close to my heart that are going through the same battles as you. The battles you fought for so long! I have a few individuals battling addiction and one in particular that mirrors you almost to a tee, minus the fame and fortune. Of course he does deserve an Oscar for most of his antics... Plus, he isn't as funny as he thinks. Anyway, I can't imagine getting the news that he chose to end his battle the way you did. I can't imagine getting that news about any of my loved ones struggling with depression and/or addiction. I can't bare to be without them in my life.  I hope that they and anyone who knows your story sees how much they are loved. That life is worth living and they don't have to go through this hell on earth alone. That they are not a burden. 

Mr. Williams, you will be greatly missed. Thank you for the laughs and the fond memories.   

PS. 

Would you do me a big favor? Say hi to John Ritter, Gilda Radner, George Carlin and John Belushi for me. I miss them too. 

Love Always, 

Renee Michelle